Shock, horror! Murdoch's Sun wants his readers back

 

Rupert Murdoch bid to grab back the huge audience his News Corp lost when it closed the best-selling News of the World over a phone-hacking scandal with a new Sunday edition of his Sun tabloid filled with gossip, girls and celebrities. With a front page splashing on a female TV presenter's birthing difficulties - "My heart stopped for 40 seconds" - the top-selling daily Sun made its Sunday debut, aiming to win back the 2.7 million people who had read News of the World until its closure in July in Britain's biggest recent press scandal.

Adele joked that she wanted boyfriend Simon Konecki to buy her an engagement ring so big “you can see it from space”.

Bling ring: Adele and boyfriend Simon KoneckiXposurephotos

Adele joked that she wanted boyfriend Simon Konecki to buy her an engagement ring so big “you can see it from space”.

Yet the award-winning singer, 23, wanted to make sure no one saw her as she slipped away from the Brits.

She covered her head with a coat as she gave the aftershow parties a miss and headed back to her hotel with 36-year-old Si.

Earlier, Adele denied the ring she was wearing was anything more than a fashion accessory.

Overheard being asked whether she’d like her fella to propose and give her a diamond ring, she laughed: “I want one you can see from space.”

Now Adele is happier than she has ever been with charity boss Simon and says the prospect of writing another record based on a doomed relationship seems deeply depressing.

Speaking to US network CBS’s 60 Minutes recently, she said: “Because I’m madly in love I don’t want to be like, ‘Babe, I’m sorry, we’ve got to break up. I’ve got a new album to ­deliver now.’

“I can’t write another break-up record, that would be a real cliché. It would be just like a boring, running theme. ­People would be like: ‘No, that’s enough now, cheer up.’”

Her new relationship is going so well she now struggles to connect with her biggest hit Someone Like You, which was inspired by her most recent ex.

“Someone Like You was about him getting engaged really quickly after we broke up,” she said.

“I wrote that to feel better about myself and it was about trying to convince myself that we will meet someone and I will be happy.

“In fact, next time I sing Someone Like You, I’m going to be like, never mind, I found someone like you. Please forget me!”

Poor men and lonely wealthy women

I see so many lonely women out here in the world today. Of course, there are lonely guys as well. But, in my opinion men react and respond differently to their problems. We almost never actually admit that we are alone, except when our self-esteem is compromised. We just go with the flow. But for women, it is a totally different story. “I am so alone,” was what she would say. I hear this all the time from the opposite sex. Why is this so in the modern-day world? Are we men not doing our jobs?   This brings me to the recent lonely end of soul-siren Whitney Houston and UK Amy Winehouse in 2011 respectively, whose public battles with drugs and alcohol often overshadowed their music success. May their musical souls rest in peace! These are glaring examples of lonely women. It is an open secret that Whitney had been a ‘druggy’ for years, which had become more pronounced after her tumultuous marriage to singer Bobby Brown, whom she divorced before her death. Rumours had it that Amy was killed by lack of love, not a drug addiction. I think this is probably true. Another example is that of Lady Gaga, who recently admitted in an interview, “Yes I’m lonely, but I’m married to my loneliness.” It is quite interesting to know so much about her. She has said loneliness is the only thing she loves the most. Nevertheless, I wish her good luck! Now, you may wonder what the situation is Namibia?  One of the most well-known examples of this ‘loneliness phenomenon’ is the infamous middle finger gesture employed by a well-known personality in Namibia’s showbiz last year.    Was that a sign of loneliness?  Well, without risking my poor miserable life I’ll leave that to the reader to figure out. Today, with the advent of equal opportunities and interventions, our ladies in the ‘Land of the Brave’ have made great strides in business, politics, TIPEEG, BEE, Namdeb, highly skilled professions and the list goes on, which makes them wealthy but ‘lonely.’ You will agree with me that successful women are multiplying in Namibia, but sadly, success has been unsettling for some as they are struggling to keep their ‘unemployed’ boyfriends or husbands, who feel that they can’t compromise on their self-esteem and would leave relationships in which they can’t cope with the rich lifestyle of their girlfriends or women – and therefore rendering many women lonely. I know many of them. Rich women have difficulties managing fulfilling relationships and therefore end up being lonely. My advice to these lonely Eves is simple; do not pride yourself in intimidation, aggression and power. No man will accept to be controlled by a wife just because he is poor. Instead, a rich wife must remain strong but be humble and respect her husband to make him stronger. No matter how much wealth a woman can attain, she will still long for a person she can share her life with; not to mention her wealth with. Although money can be friendly, rich women still need someone who will be there for them and just simply love them. We do not want a Whitney or Amy Winehouse situation to play off in our country or do we?. Until then, Eewa!

Secret lives of the movie legends

 

In an era before Twitter, paparazzi, gossip websites and the voracious appetite for the scandal and sex lives of the rich and shameless, Hollywood was swinging with the kind of wild sexual liberation that can still seem shocking today. Post-war Hollywood was churning out the family-friendly, conservative-values movies that chimed with the politics and repressed sexuality of the '40s and '50s. But the unacknowledged irony was that these motion pictures were being made by actors, writers, directors and studio chiefs who were engaged in lifestyles that could not have been more different from those they created on screen. Two decades before the sexual revolution of the 1960s, Los Angeles was already a sexual playground for movie stars and the international jet set, who were protected by a powerful studio system that could keep their more outrageous behaviour out of the public eye. Stars such as Noel Coward, Cole Porter, Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant -- and non-industry figures like the former King Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson -- had a sexually licentious lifestyle within the closed Hollywood community. And where you have rich, sexually voracious movie stars and powerful men, you will also need pimps, procurers and a steady stream of young men and women. Scotty Bowers, a handsome, bi-sexual, former Marine paratrooper, became a part of this underworld when he relocated to Hollywood following service in the Second World War. The ex-Marine became the go-to guy for those who wanted sexual adventure, building up a network of "friends" who traded in sex with the greatest stars of the era. Now, Bowers has revealed all, in Full Service -- My Adventures in Hollywood and the Secret Sex Lives of the Stars, an autobiography that claims to tell the true story behind the rumours and scandal that have filtered down from the closeted era of sex and the stars. Written with the collaboration of Emmy-winning writer Lionel Friedberg, Full Service is published as Bowers prepares to celebrate his 89th birthday. In Scotty's own words, he became a Hollywood insider, or at least a fixer of sexual liaisons, almost by accident when he moved to Los Angeles immediately after the war and began working in a gas station. A chance encounter with the actor Walter Pidgeon, who stopped by to have his tank filled, led to an afternoon of sex with the then-happily married Pidgeon and a male friend. Handsome, friendly and totally relaxed when it came to sex (Bowers attributes this to his wartime experiences and his Illinois farm-boy background), the ex-Marine quickly gained a reputation for knowing a lot of young men and women who were prepared to "trick" for as little as $20. However, throughout his memoir, Bowers is at pains to point out that he was neither a pimp nor a prostitute. "When it came to my own sexual liaisons, I was always more than happy to pocket the tip that anyone offered me for a night of sex," he says. "But I never charged for my matchmaking services when hooking-up other people. I would set up the trick and then the two of them went off together and money changed hands between them. "It was only fair. My operation -- if you want to call it that -- was not a prostitution ring. I was only providing a service to those who wanted it and, as recorded history has shown, throughout the ages there has always been a need for high-quality sex". To hear Bowers tell it, the '40s and '50s in Los Angeles were golden decades of sexual experimentation, where stars and their willing acolytes enjoyed never-ending pool parties under the Californian sun. Sex was an obsession and a currency for stars young and old. Mae West, even as she was in her late-60s, kept a string of young bodybuilders on call 24 hours a day. Bowers got to know Rock Hudson, whose homosexuality was an open secret in Hollywood, in the mid-'50s and also knew his wife, Phyllis Gates, a lesbian who had been persuaded to marry Rock to quell the gossip magazine whispers about his sexuality. "This phony marriage must have been hell on them both. Rock had a voracious, almost uncontrollable sexual appetite. In later years he cruised the streets every night, picking up vagabonds, strangers and young men all over town," says Bowers. The Los Angeles police vice squad was a constant threat, with LA Confidential-style shakedowns, blackmail rings and the vicious persecution of gay men in particular (or at least those who couldn't afford high-powered lawyers and the protection of the studio bosses). Pay-offs to the right cops, the activities of studio fixers and the complicity of the media ensured that very little scandal leaked out. Bowers' memoirs read like a roll-call of just about every major star in the studio system of the time and he cheerfully dishes the dirt. He claims Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy were never really involved in a great love affair, painting Hepburn as a sexually voracious lesbian who needed Tracy as a cover for her lifestyle. The list of stars who get the Bowers treatment includes Edith Piaf, Vivien Leigh, Cary Grant, Rita Hayworth, Joan Crawford, Bob Hope and William Holden (to name but a very, very few). Non-industry figures like Edward and Wallis Simpson, FBI boss J Edgar Hoover and Beatles manager Brian Epstein, flit in and out of the picture, indulging in a wild array of pan-sexual activities. Bowers had been friendly with the movie star Tyrone Powers since their days together in the Marine Corps and once they met up again in Los Angeles, they "enjoyed quite a few sexual shenanigans together". "Women swooned over him and he bedded quite a few of them, but he much preferred men," says Bowers. "Some of his sexual tastes were rather odd and offbeat, but none of the guys seemed to mind." The sexual exploits of the golden- era stars still fascinate, and readers may never look at classic movies like The Wizard of Oz or Bringing Up Baby in the same way again. It can't all have been glamorous pool parties in the Hollywood Hills and smiling, handsome film stars driving around in Cadillacs and Bentleys. But to hear Bowers tell it, after surviving the Depression and then World War Two, the young Americans who flocked to California in the '40s and '50s had little concern for the kind of sexual puritanism apparently making a comeback in the US.

Piranha Women who trap well-off men are pure myth

 

The dangers of daily life for modern men are manifold, it seems. Alongside transfats in foods and oestrogen in drinking water, they must also beware 'Piranha Women'. Or so says divorce lawyer Diane Benussi. In her daily life overseeing the unraveling of families' personal lives, she claims to have observed a new breed of avaricious woman. This lady, according to Ms Benussi, is manipulative and devious to the core -- a romantic mercenary in a mini-skirt. Increasingly, Ms Benussi observed to a tabloid newspaper, beautiful young women, disinclined to make an honest living, are targeting vulnerable wealthy men in a bid to win a share of their assets. Their weapon of choice is their fertility. They lure unsuspecting gentlemen into unprotected sex and then fall pregnant, using the resulting progeny as a siphon on the unsuspecting man's bank account. Poor love. As anyone knows, well-off men in middle age represent one of society's most vulnerable minorities. Not only that, but they are, apparently, completely incapable of taking care of something as simple as contraception. I don't know about you, but personally, in my three decades on earth, I've never met a Piranha Woman. This pantomime trope of a scheming madam who uses sex purely as strategy exists for me only in fairytale. There are women, sure, who find an affluent man who can prove his worth as a provider and an alpha male attractive. But I don't know a single female who has used her womb as a honey trap in order to save herself the bother of buying lottery tickets. I have, on the other hand, met plenty of men who are convinced that they must protect themselves against female strategy and acquisitiveness. One, whom I dated briefly in college, told me outright one evening that he knew as a successful, ambitious guy (at this point he was still a student) he had to beware the advances of ladies with alluring eyes and sinister agendas. His mother, he informed me gravely, had warned him that he was exactly the kind of man that women would try and become pregnant by. Thus, he must be extra careful with contraception. Needless to say, that comment was turn off enough to have me on the next bus home to my own bed. Contrary to what he and his mother thought, I was rather less convinced than they were of the value of his precious sperm. It's possible, of course, that there are a few Piranha Women out there. But I'd guess that they are an extremely rare species. There's a cultural precedent for this belief, of course. (Not to mention a great history of paranoia on the part of many men about the dark arts of female sexuality). That precedent is called a WAG. In an era when we have become more than familiar with women winning fame, wealth, and cultural influence on the strength of their association with rich men, it's not a far stretch to create the myth of the Piranha. We know well that the WAG seeks out partnerships with wealthy footballers, within which a transactional trade-off of beauty for lifestyle and luxury is transparently part of the deal. The notional Piranha simply takes this a step further, by, we are told, using her sex appeal to cut out the romance and go straight for the cash, by way of a baby. This, says Ms Benussi, has become an accepted way for a woman to make a living. One could argue that, as a divorce lawyer, she's likely to know. But I don't believe it. There's a huge leap between falling in love with a fit, rich, attractive young footballer and seducing a wealthy singleton with middle-aged spread to get straight to his bank balance. Sure, there are plenty of women who consider affluence to be an attractive attribute in a man. It bespeaks success, competence and a certain capacity for influence and agency in the world -- all sexy qualities, let's be honest. But outside of a pure sex-for-money transaction -- from which, for most women unlucky enough to have to resort to it, pregnancy as a result is usually the least desirable outcome -- I have never met a woman myself who would put it above sexual desire and a genuine emotional bond. The invention of the storybook villain Piranha Woman seems suspiciously like dredging up bitter old cliches in order to further divide the genders around issues of separation and divorce. Relationships are rarely so simple. And perpetuating these kind of tropes and stereotypes serves no one except the divorce lawyers.

Lloyds Bank strips five directors of more than £1 million in bonuses

 

It will be the first time a British bank has exercised a “clawback” option on executive pay packages since the financial crisis and will lead to calls for similar moves at other lenders, including the Royal Bank of Scotland. The Daily Telegraph has learned that Lloyds is taking back a bonus from senior bankers over their role in the mis-selling of payment protection insurance (PPI). Eric Daniels, Lloyds’ former chief executive, will lose at least £360,000 of his 2010 bonus. Four other current and former directors will each have to forgo about £250,000. The move comes after weeks of pressure from politicians and consumer groups for the banking sector to answer concerns that some bonus awards do not match individual performances. The Financial Services Authority has also called for Britain’s banks to reflect one of the worst customer mis-selling scandals in recent memory in the pay packages of those responsible.

Bobbi Kristina Brown 'found getting high after Whitney Houston's funeral'

Her mother's funeral had just been hours before, but Whitney Houston's daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown was allegedly found doing drugs yesterday. The 18-year-old apparently slipped away from friends and family after the emotional four-hour home going service in New Jersey. Instead of joining them at a restaurant in Newark, Bobbi went off to be alone and even caused panic this morning as her mother's coffin was being transported to the Fairview Cemetery to be buried.

Whitney is laid to rest: Late singer buried at private ceremony in home town

 

Following a very public farewell to Whitney Houston at a funeral attended by thousands yesterday, the late singer will be laid to rest in a private ceremony in New Jersey today. The tragic star will be buried at the Fairview Cemetery in Westfield where her father, John Russell Houston Jr., was interred in 2003. Houston's silver casket was reportedly watched over by 10 security guards after it left the invitation-only service attended by some of the music world's biggest stars yesterday.

Let’s clear up a few things about Whitney Houston.

 

 First of all, she left a last will and testament. It was drawn up after her divorce from Bobby Brown, according to my sources. Daughter Bobbi Kristina is her likely main heir. Despite dire reports, Houston also was not bankrupt or broke. Even though she didn’t have a publishing legacy–others wrote her songs–she did have money from album sales and touring. She likely had advances, too, from various deals with Sony (formerly Sony BMG) dating from 2000. She made a lot of money–at least $35 million gross–from touring Europe and Asia in 2010. Sony is shipping and selling millions of her records right now. And while there may not be a lot in the vaults of unreleased material, there will be enough to do some kind of souvenir album. Her estate in Mendham, New Jersey has been on the market for three years. Yesterday, the price was dropped to $1.7 million. “The property is amazing,” says a friend. “Someone will buy it and remodel it.”  The gated home comes with an Olympic sized swimming pool that at one time bore a large “W” scripted on its bottom. Mostly, Houston had been dividing her time between Atlanta and Los Angeles. Some other things to note: Houston was not scheduled to sing at the Clive Davis party on Saturday. She was merely there as a guest and cheerleader. As I reported on Saturday night– on Thursday she spent the morning and early afternoon with musical director Ricky Minor and Monica and Brandy. Minor reported that she’d been swimming and was in a good mood. Press saw her on Thursday with Davis and the singers. I was staying in the very same Beverly Hilton Hotel. The sense that Whitney was wildly partying all over the place has been conveyed by the tabloids. It’s just not true. What she did at night outside the hotel is another story. And then there was the exclusive story we reported here about the leak on Friday night from her room into the one below. The man in the suite below her saw water cascade through his bathroom ceiling at 2:30am. When he went upstairs, he found that the bathtub had been left on and was overflowing. Bobbi Kristina, 18, was not taking a bath at that hour. But she was awake, and the television in the room with the overflowing bathtub was cracked.

Whitney Houston's Funeral To Be Streamed Live Online

 

Whitney Houston's funeral will be streamed live on the internet so fans can pay their final respects to the legendary singer. The Greatest Love Of All hitmaker, who was found dead in her hotel room last weekend, is to be laid to rest at her childhood church in Newark, New Jersey on Saturday (18th February). Following confirmation that the ceremony will be a private, invite only event, Houston's publicist Kristen Foster has announced that The AP are allowed to film the service and stream it on their website - with the footage also available to broadcasters via a satellite. The 48-year old's body was flown from Los Angeles to New Jersey on Monday (13th February) ahead of the planned service at the New Hope Baptist Church in Newark where she sang as a child with her cousin, Dionne Warwick. It is thought that Whitney will be buried next to her father, John Russell Houston Jr - who passed away in 2003 - with family members making the decision based on what the R&B star would have wanted. Despite her tragic death, Whitney's music continues to dominate the charts on both sides of the Atlantic, with one of her most famous hits I Will Always Love You on course to re-enter the UK singles chart top 10 on Sunday.

Celebrity Leavings: Bidding Stars Adieu

 

Leaving on a jet plane–for good–sounds diva-like, following in the footsteps of Mick Jagger, Phil Collins and David Bowie. As a tax lawyer, I hear a fair number of people talk of leaving the country for good. Most don’t end up doing it, but that may be changing. So says Andrew Mitchel who reports that the number of individuals renouncing their U.S. citizenship (or terminating U.S. permanent residency) and expatriating from the U.S. continued to soar in 2011. He charts a 16% increase from 2010 and a 671% increase from 2008. It hasn’t helped that the IRS has redoubled its efforts to get U.S. taxpayers to report their worldwide income and to disclose their foreign financial accounts on FBARs, or Report of Foreign Bank and Financial Accounts, Treasury Form TD F 90-22.1. See Toxic Citizens? Apart from prospective enforcement, it also doesn’t help that the IRS has mounted voluntary disclosure efforts over the past few years to help bring taxpayers into compliance. See New IRS Offshore Amnesty Announced: Third Time’s A Charm. Those partial amnesty programs are a good thing, but many taxpayers continue to feel that the IRS has not done enough to forgive all penalties. For these and other reasons, some American citizens and U.S. permanent residents are calling it quits, apparently in record numbers. Inevitably there are tax issues on the way out. See Ten Facts About Tax Expatriation. U.S. citizens or long-term residents who expatriate after June 16, 2008, are treated as having sold all their worldwide property for its fair market value the day before leaving the U.S. The gain is taxed as a capital gain, but this “exit tax” is unforgiving and has broad application. See Rich Americans Voting With Their Feet To Escape Obama Tax Oppression. Fortunately not all expatriates face the exit tax; only “covered expatriates” do. Plus, some people born with dual citizenship who haven’t had a substantial presence in the U.S. and certain minors who expatriated before the age of 18-and-a-half are also exempt. However, those people must still file an IRS Form 8854 Expatriation Information Statement. You can escape the exit tax if you have less than $651,000 of income from the deemed sale of your assets. This exemption amount is adjusted for inflation. If your gain exceeds this amount, you must allocate the gain pro rata among all appreciated property. The exclusion must be allocated to each item of property with built-in gain on a proportional basis. As you might expect, appraisals of property are a good idea. See Fancy Appraisals Can Defeat IRS. Even if you owe an exit tax, some are allowed to defer it. All of this involves paperwork.  You must file IRS Form 8854 (in some cases for ten years).  Additional special forms may be required if you have any deferred compensation items, a specified tax deferred account, certain non-grantor trusts, etc.  A good resource is Notice 2009-85. Whatever you do, get some professional advice on these issues, both from a tax lawyer and an immigration lawyer.

Celebrity kids with bizarre names

 

As bizarre as it seems, singer Beyonce and husband rapper Jay-Z, have filed a trademark application to stop anyone else from copying the name of their one-month-old daughter, Blue Ivy Carter. The application, submitted by Beyonce’s company, BGK Trademark Holdings, is currently pending but is expected to be approved, according to the Washington Post. Experts have mixed reaction on the move. “I gave unique names to my kids - Raell, Quasar and Shazahn, and was thinking of copyrighting them. That was because I found that a lot of people were impersonating my name, Alyque, which is also unique. Beyonce’s idea is great.” says communication consultant, Alyque Padamsee. “Beyonce’s a big star but this copyright thing is  bizarre. Although, you can’t deny that with the pressure they have, they need to fiercely protect their kid,” says adman, Prahlad Kakkar. Back home, we also have celebrities who have given their kids unique names, and might want to go the Beyonce way. Kiaan Raj Kapoor Parents: Actor Karisma Kapoor and industrialist Sunjay Kapur Born in March 2010, the couple named their son Kiaan Raj Kapoor. The name which is of American Hebrew origin, and means the grace of God, was chosen by Karisma. The couple also have a daughter  named Samaira, which means under God’s rule.

Psychic celebrity Walter Mercado to shed capes, open nonprofit foundation in Puerto Rico

 

Famed astrologer Walter Mercado, who emerged weeks ago from a near-death experience, announced Tuesday that he will create a charitable foundation in Puerto Rico to help children and teenagers. The flamboyant psychic said he will auction hundreds of ornate capes he wore during his lengthy TV career that attracted a cult-like following across Latin America to raise money for the Shanti Ananda Foundation.. Mercado has emerged from a near-death experience and says he will create a charitable foundation in Puerto Rico to help children and teenagers. “The Walter of capes is over,” he said. “The public wants me like this, of flesh and bone.” The organization will target children with spina bifida and pregnant teenagers, as well as young adults who need help or guidance, he said. Mercado, who now calls himself Shanti Ananda, remained vague when pressed for details about the organization or what kind of help it would provide. “The type of help cannot be limited to one word,” he said, adding that the center would provide counseling and meditation. He has not yet decided where to build the center or how many people it would target, but is confident he can raise enough money for the project. He has more than 2,000 capes sitting in an air-conditioned room in Miami, where he used to live. Each one costs at least $1,000, with many embroidered by hand, he said. Mercado said he is shedding the elaborate capes that defined his TV persona after nearly dying from pneumonia and a heart attack in January. “When you go through this kind of process, you change,” he said. “You value things that you didn’t value before.” Mercado made the announcement at his home near the capital of San Juan, where he sat nestled by embroidered pillows and bright scarves in a red-and-gold themed room. Instead of a cape, he wore a bright red shirt, an even brighter red tie and a velvet burgundy jacket topped with a bejeweled butterfly brooch. Mercado said he nearly died after he was hospitalized for pneumonia while in his native Puerto Rico to celebrate the holidays. He then was transferred to a hospital in Ohio after his health condition worsened. His publicist later revealed that Mercado also had suffered a heart attack. During his hospitalization, hundreds of fans called, wrote letters and posted encouraging messages on Facebook. Among those praying for him was Lilli Acevedo, a 56-year-old Puerto Rican who has followed Mercado since his early days. “I loved him, and I loved his capes and his rings,” she said. When Mercado became sick, Acevedo said she feared the end of his daily horoscopes. “That affected me a lot,” she said. “That is like my cup of coffee every morning.” Mercado no longer does TV, but he write horoscopes for El Nuevo Herald in Miami, as well as several newspapers in Latin America and one in Puerto Rico, where he moved nearly two years ago from Miami. While in South Florida, Mercado got into trouble for endorsing alleged health and beauty products. He was named in a class-action lawsuit that accused him of misleading people into buying beads with supposed special powers. The president of the jewelry company, Unique Gems International Corp., was later sentenced to 14 years in prison for scamming 16,000 people in a $90 million scam.

If you are starting to think you MIGHT be in a codependent relationship

If you are starting to think you MIGHT be in a codependent relationship, check out this list of characteristics from Recovery Resources, applying them to any friendship you're in:

1. My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.
2. My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
3. Your struggle affects my serenity. My mental attention focuses on solving your problems/relieving your pain.
4. My mental attention is focused on you.
5. My mental attention is focused on protecting you.
6. My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to do it my way.
7. My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.
8. My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.
9. My own hobbies/interests are put to one side. My time is spent sharing your hobbies/interests.
10. Your clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my desires and I feel you are a reflection of me.
11. Your behaviour is dictated by my desires and I feel you are a reflection of me.
12. I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel.
13. I am not aware of what I want - I ask for what you want.
14. The dreams I have for my future are linked to you.
15. My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
16. My fear of your anger determines what I say or do.
17. I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
18. My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you
19. I put my values aside in order to connect with you.
20. I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
21. The quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours.

Avoiding a Codependent Friendship

 

Friendships are important building blocks in our lives, and are necessary for healthy and happy lives. They can, however, quickly turn harmful and hinder us if we allow them to. It is vital to understand the aspects of a healthy friendship, and be able to avoid the traits of an unhealthy one. When a friend is going through hard times in her life, it is natural to want to be there for them and to help. Many times, this is perfectly ok, and can even help to build a healthy and lasting friendship. But there are times when it can quickly become a problem. Unhealthy friendship? Indentify Codependency When being there for your friend, it is very important not to get involved or "sucked" in to their problems. Listening to the problems does not mean you should try to fix them or make judgments on what is best for your friend and try to convince them of it. Both of these acts are manipulative and dangerously codependent. It is vital to understand, and accept that you can not save your friend from situations or from themselves. Many friends I have had were engaged in addictions of all sorts. Just a few of them have been relationship addictions, work addictions, alcohol, sex, and even drug addictions. As a recovering codependent, I can tell you each friendship was very exhausting. Based on my childhood development, I always wanted to protect or save those I loved most, in a very martyr type of way. In the end, always pushing your own needs aside for the needs of others will lead to resentment and bitterness. This extended for many years life until I finally decided to end my codependent tendencies. What codependency? Identifying Codependency Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships Many questions and answers about codependency. What can you do? Submit questions-check back for on-line replies or share experiences and ask for advice on the easy to use express yourself discussion boards. Codependency Self Test Questions to help determine if you or a loved one is codependent. A Hero's Journey This is a very hard step to take, because it means setting boundaries in all of your relationships that others may not understand or like. This can cause friction and even hurt feelings even with well-thought explanation. It may very well even end a few friendships. Codependency is a very easy trap to fall into. It feels very good and noble to be someone's rock or savior. To think that somehow you've saved your friends and made their lives better. But it's dangerous to fall into this belief. We all need to remember that the only one that can save you is you, and that goes for all of your friends. By all means, be there for a friend in need. Help the pack or listen to them without judgment, but don't feed into their addiction or needy personality by becoming their next dependency. Don't allow your mental or emotional well-being be affected by their life, and don't try to save them. Remember yourself and what you need to be happy and healthy, and always remember to put that first.

It looks as though Whitney had got to a stage where she was using Xanax like clockwork. “Mixed with alcohol, it is known to be a killer. It’s the same deadly combination that killed Heath Ledger.”

 

DETECTIVES will quiz up tonine doctors they believe could have supplied Whitney Houston with a lethal cocktail of prescription drugs. The superstar singer died in her hotel bath on Saturday after taking a host of powerful sedatives. And last night, sources claimed her drug taking had spiralled out of control in recent months, turning her into a virtual “zombie”. The 48-year-old had become a tortured recluse, regularly spending most of the day in bed before emerging in the evenings to party. Police are now anxious to find out how a recovering crack addict with a long history of drug and alcohol abuse was able to get hold of such a vast quantity of pills. A source said: “The only way Whitney could function was on a cocktail of different drugs – uppers, downers, sleeping pills, painkillers, a whole medicine cabinet. “She was living like a zombie – always on medication. The more she took, the more she needed. “With alcohol in the mix, this was a tragedy waiting to happen. But she needed quite a network to obtain drugs in that kind of number.” Officers will begin their probe at the infamous Mickey Fine pharmacy in Beverly Hills, where Michael Jackson got his prescription drugs. It’s believed at least some of Whitney’s medication was obtained there. Bottles of Lorazepam, Valium and Xanax were found in her suiteat the Beverly Hilton Hotel. All three are used to treat anxiety disorders, while Valium can also ease alcohol withdrawal symptoms and muscle spasms. It’s thought Whitney was also taking painkillers and sleeping pills. Police and the LA county coroner are working on the premise that a combination of drugs and alcohol caused the star to become heavily sedated or overdose – ultimately leading to her death. It’s also possible that she suffered a heart attack caused by an adverse reaction to her medication. An autopsy was performed on Sunday but officials said they wouldn’t have any definitive answers until drug tests are completed in several weeks. Another theory was that the singer took sedatives, fell asleep and drowned in the tub. Police say Whitney was found underwater and unconscious. But the coroner told her family there was not enough water in her lungs to conclude that she had drowned. Detectives are expected to treat the investigation the same way they handled Michael Jackson’s death. They discovered dozens of doctors were supplying the King of Pop with different prescription drugs. Jackson’s personal physician, Conrad Murray – who administered the fatal dose of hospital anaesthetic Propofol – was later found guilty of manslaughter. Yesterday, it emerged that Whitney had visited a doctor at a private clinic in Beverly Hills just two days before she died. US X Factor winner Melanie Amaro revealed that she bumped into Whitney at the surgery on Thursday. Whitney is also known to have visited other private clinics on February 7 and February 2 – and it’s possible that she visited other doctors as well. It’s thought police will also probe whether she used friends, staff or hangers-on to get prescriptions in their own names and then hand over the pills. Detectives are piecing together Whitney’s physical and emotional state before she died. She seemed to have slid back to the days when she and husband Bobby Brown regularly abused drugs and alcohol in week-long party binges. On Thursday night, Whitney looked wild-eyed and dishevelled as she left Hollywood’s Tru nightclub, where she joined revellers at a bash thrown by American singer Kelly Price. She had scratches on her wrist and blood running down a leg and witnesses say she reeked of booze, sweat and cigarettes. Whitney downed tequila at the party and went berserk when she saw her on-off toyboy lover, singer and actor Ray J, 31, talking to another girl. One witness said the former powerhouse vocalist who sold more than 170million albums worldwide seemed “wasted”. A music industry source said: “It looks as though Whitney had got to a stage where she was using Xanax like clockwork. “Mixed with alcohol, it is known to be a killer. It’s the same deadly combination that killed Heath Ledger.”

Shyness could be defined as a mental illness

 

Under changes planned to the diagnosis handbook used by doctors in the US, common behavioural traits are likely to be listed as a mental illness, it was reported. The fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of Mental Disorders could also include internet addiction and gambling as a medical problem. Although the guidelines are not used in the UK, experts said they feared it would affect thinking on the subjects. "We need to be very careful before further broadening the boundaries of illness and disorder," Simon Wessely, of the Institute of Psychiatry at King's College London, told the Daily Mail. "Back in 1840 the census of the United States included just one category for mental disorder.

Madonna stalker escapes

 

 A stalker who made violent threats against Madonna has escaped from a secure mental hospital in California. Robert Dewey Hoskins fled the Metropolitan State Hospital in Norwalk without his medication last Friday according to police, who only revealed the disappearance on Thursday. Hoskins was jailed for ten years after stalking the pop star around California, and reportedly threatened to cut her "from ear to ear" if she did not agree to marry him. He was arrested in 1995 after scaling the walls of Madonna's Hollywood estate and being shot twice by her security guards. Madonna alleged that he had scaled the fence several times, and that the incidents had left her having nightmares. The stalker made similar threats against Halle Berry.

Two arrested in connection with Cabopino stabbing

 

Two people have been arrested in connection with the stabbing to death of a man whose body was found in Cabopino in the early hours of Tuesday week. The 26 year old received three stab wounds in his back after an argument in a bar. Diario Sur reports that two arrests have been made but that the investigation remains open. Police will have to establish which one of the two arrested men was the main player in the aggression. It seems there was an argument at about 1,20am close to the Bar Mesón 24 horas in Marbella, and it was the waiter there who called the police after finding an injured man on the ground. An ambulance went to the scene, but the medics could do nothing to save the victim who had suffered three stab wounds and a blow to the head. The victim was of Ecuadorian origin but had Spanish nationality and lived in a nearby urbanisation. The waiter said that the victim did not want any problems with the two men, and even invited them in the bar to a ‘chupito’. He said that he thought the group went outside to smoke. Robbery could have been a motive, and the victim was found without his wallet and mobile phone.

Spiritual beliefs can have psychological pros, cons

 

When Kenneth Pargament decided to start researching psychology and religion, he did not receive the most support from the psychological community. "The field tended to take a negative view toward religiousness," Pargament said. "[Sigmund] Freud, for instance, talked about religion as a defense against anxiety. Religion was often linked in the minds of many people in mental health to psychopathology, but that picture has changed in the last 25 years. The research has shown some pretty consistent links between religious involvement and health and well-being." Pargament, a professor in the Department of Psychology, researches the aspects of religion and spirituality that can be helpful as well as harmful to people. "We think of religion and spirituality as a double-edged sword," he said. Carney Strange, a professor of student affairs in the College of Education and Human Development, teaches a course about the "spiritual dimensions of student development." This involves looking at questions of purpose students have during college and whether their viewpoints change over time regarding these questions. These can include wondering about job prospects, whether people depend on the student and whether the student is a worthy human being. "I teach in a graduate program where people are working on master's [degrees] to become student administrators," Strange said. "My goal is to help them understand this dimension of students as they go through the college experience." The idea of an afterlife can often help answer questions like these, Pargament said. "I think beliefs in the afterlife also respond to the basic need for transcendence and continuity in life, the need to feel that our lives matter," he said. Studies, particularly some the Department of Psychology has coordinated, show people often turn to faith during times of stress, such as illnesses, mortality and frailty, Pargament said. "Generally, I think religion is especially well-designed to help people come to terms with their finitude, their limitations [and] the fact we can't control everything," he said. Sammy Hitchcock, a junior in the SEARCH Community that Strange advises, said her Christian faith helps her through all aspects of her life, such as school. "I have to have faith that I am doing as much as I can to pass my classes or pass a test," Hitchcock said. "If I don't [pass], then I have faith that it is going to work out regardless." Hitchcock said she prays not only when she is stressed, but also when she is happy. "I don't really pick and choose which parts I apply faith to," she said. Nonetheless, Hitchcock said she understands religion is not going to solve all of her day-to-day problems. "People expect that God or spirituality and whatever they believe in is going to be given to them because they ask for it," she said. "That goes back to the grand scheme of things where if one door closes, another one opens." When it comes to scientifically proving the existence of a deity, Pargament said it is wise to take an agnostic point of view. "We can know [God exists] as individuals, we can have our own personal belief systems and affiliations, but as scientists we have no device to measure God's existence ... [or] nonexistence," he said. "There is no ‘God-ma-tron' out there." When it comes to atheists and agnostics, Pargament said there are different kinds, with some people not caring about the existence of a deity and others expressing passion toward their disbelief. He pointed out that all people put faith into some kind of personal belief and into things that cannot be measured by sight. "I don't think so much the issue is faith versus the lack of faith," he said. "I think the critical thing is, ‘what do we put our faith in?'"

Brussels gives green light for storage of Olive Oil

 

The European Commission is to give the green light this month for a new storage of olive oil for as much as 100,000 tons for five months. Taking that amount from the marketplace means that prices will be controlled. A similar amount was stored last November and since then only 45,000 tons has been released from cooperatives and some industrial groups. The olive oil sector is in a deep crisis with very low prices over the past year, a lower quality of product and an average 155 € per kilo for normal, and under 2 € for virgin extra. EU aid of between 80cents and 1€ only partially solved the problem and so producers are turning to storing the oil to put up the price. Minister for Agriculture, Arias Cañete, considers storage to be just another measure. Last season 1.4 million tons were produced, an amount expected to be beaten this year.

Demi Moore on road to recovery

. Known for its individualized approach to addiction treatment, the super-posh Cirque Lodge has also helped Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate Olsen and Eva Mendes overcome their addictions. Moore's decision to seek treatment comes on the heels of a sad downward spiral for the 'Margin Call' star, who split from husband Ashton Kutcher in November. Friends are relieved that the actress is seeking treatment - more than 20 years after she first went to rehab in 1985. "She knows she's in a bad place and needs help. Rehab is the only thing she can do right now. She needed something serious to get her back on track," a source said. Meanwhile, singer-actress Miley Cyrus has spoken out in support of Moore. The 19-year-old, who stars alongside Moore in the forthcoming film 'LOL' took to her Facebook page to stand by Moore. "Everyone needs to leave Demi alone. She's been through so much the past year. She doesn't need all this. How can you talk about someone you don't know?'," Cyrus wrote. "The media makes everyone in Hollywood seem weak, stupid or unbalanced. Just because she's in Hollywood doesn't mean she's on drugs. NOT EVERYONE IS ON DRUGS!!!.